your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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