Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize