Your tits are I can't wait for
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
