Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
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