Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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