so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I can't put those talents on a resume
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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