Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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