who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
