Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Randomize
