I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
