Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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