his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
