We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
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