I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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