do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
