I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
