Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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