the new term for farting is butt boxing.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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