Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
