Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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