And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
