How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
