i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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