do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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