Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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