dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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