I'm lost and stupid without you.
so explain again why im purple
no
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
