so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
