Little spoons don't ask big questions
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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