it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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