yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
