She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
