I must be too annoying 4 u.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
