yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize