We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize