either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i already hear my dad disowning me
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
