Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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