are you still at the devil's house?
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
