Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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