My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
