Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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