Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
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