have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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