so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
