Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
