He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
