My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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