Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
