We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
