Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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