best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
