I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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