super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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