kristin has been a bad kristin
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
