how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
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