mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
