so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
