are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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