i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
