"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
